What is Bullying ? - page 2/9

Bullying..

is a form of abuse, and bullies - and unenlightened employers - often go to great lengths to keep their targets quiet, using threats of disciplinary action, dismissal, and gagging clauses.What bullies fear most is exposure of their inadequacy and being called publicly to account for their behavior and its consequences. This makes sense when you remember that the purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy, and people who bully to hide their inadequacy are often incompetent.

A bully is a person who

• has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behavior
• wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world,
  but who is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that are a prerequisite for being part of it
• abdicates and denies responsibility for their behavior and its consequences (abdication and denial are common features of bullying)
• does not want to know of any other way of behaving

Bullying is obsessive and compulsive; the serial bully has to have someone to bully and appears to be unable to survive without a current target.

Despite the facade that such people put up, bullies have low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and thus feel insecure. Low self-esteem is a factor highlighted by all studies of bullying. Because such people are inadequate and unable to fulfill the duties and obligations of their position (but have no hesitation in accepting salary), they fear being revealed.This fear of exposure often borders on paranoia.

Bullies are seething with resentment, bitterness, hatred and anger, and often have wide-ranging prejudices as a vehicle for dumping their anger onto others. Bullies are driven by jealousy and envy. Rejection (which cannot be assuaged) is another powerful motivator of bullying.